A Skill Called Leadership

Acknowledging the Elephant.jpg

The level of psycho-social immaturity can be a defeating brick wall to overcome. A new quote that I recently read, “When there is an elephant in the room, acknowledge it.” When dealing with a person who has not aged beyond the school age, the age of  latency where the psycho-social crises is Industry vs. Inferiority, life can be daunting. Today, I tried to tell my mother that how she was behaving was mean, that what she was doing was hurtful and outright cruel. She then blew-up, and then, in an a quick interval of reversal, I became the scape goat; the one who got charged as “the guilty party.”

My Formal Charge Against My Mother: My mother has been making these unusual sounds with her tongue in her mouth. She goes out of her way sometimes to making them in my direction as I walk past her. I have dismissed them as petty and immature, but today I had to make my voice known. The sound is similar to the verbal expression one would use when indicating something is tasty. I have gained weight and I have eaten more lately than she does now. She is 82, and her metabolism has slowed down and with her chewing and digestive issues, she has selected to eat less. As a result, she has lost weight. This must make her feel “superior” to me, and in her opinion, I must look like the “inferior” worthless party. Hence her degrading sound effects.

After trying to tell her what she was doing was mean, an argument ensued. I stormed out of the house and went to the only place I usually find some peace; a book store. I acquired The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. I’m sharing a few meaningful quotes with you regarding my experience with my mother and “the brick walls” Randy Pausch describes in his book. The first quote, “An injured lion wants to know if he can still roar….It’s about dignity and self-esteem which isn’t quite the same as vanity.” Perhaps the thing my mother is trying to teach me, is perseverance in the face of adversity. Perhaps, it’s about rising above the petty and insignificant and embracing something more important, the wisdom to know the difference when dealing with ignorance. After all, dealing with my mother, challenges one’s fortitude and strength.

My mother has frequently told both me and my sister that her pregnancy with us was “an accident.” Second meaningful quote, “As she walked away, I couldn’t help but be struck by her frankness. Her casual remark was a reminder about the accidental elements that play into both our arrival into life…..and our departure into death. Here was a woman, having a child by accident that she surely would come to love. As for me, through the accident of cancer I’d be leaving three children to grow up without my love. I’m reminded of a saying, “There are no such things as accidents.” I wonder how true this statement actually is. Perhaps, there are no such things as accidents, only unconscious wishes.

The third meaningful quote, “That is what it is. We can’t change it. We just have to decide how we’ll respond. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” No amount of yelling, no amount of talking, and no amount of logical debate will penetrate the brick wall I call my mother. The truth I have to live with is this, when there is an argument and she disagrees, I’m usually, and most often than not, “the guilty party.” “If I don’t like it,” she’d say, “there’s the door. I could always leave.” And she’s right.

The fourth meaningful quote, “…if I was in a position of strength, whether at work or in relationships, I had to play fair. Just because you’re in the driver’s seat doesn’t mean you have to run people over.” This is exactly how I feel, during those quick intervals of reversal, when the narcissist turns the table and makes you the scape goat. You feel like you’ve been blinded sided by a Mack Truck.

The fifth meaningful quote, “When you’re screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you. That lesson has stuck with me my whole life. When you see yourself doing something badly and nobody’s bothering to tell you anymore, that’s a bad place to be. You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.”

The sixth meaningful quote. When you’re the central focus of the “problem” (the football) and there are several other people who are involved in the game, think about Randy Pausch’s poignant story of his football coach, Jim Graham. The story goes like this:

“On the first day of practice, we were all scared to death. Plus he hadn’t brought along any footballs. One kid finally spoke up for all of us. “Excuse me, Coach. There are no footballs.” And Coach Graham responded, “We don’t need any footballs.” There was a silence, while we thought about that. . . “How many men are on the football field at a time?” he asked us. Eleven on a team, we answered. So that makes twenty two. “And how many people are touching the football at any given time?” One of them. “Right!” he said. “So we’re going to work on what those other twenty-one guys are doing?”……You’ve got to get the fundamentals down, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work.”

The seventh meaningful quote, “When we send our kids to play organized sports – football, soccer, swimming, whatever – for most of us, it’s not because we’re desperate for them to learn the intricacies of the sport. What we really want them to learn is far more important: teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, and ability to deal with adversity. This kind of indirect learning is what some of us like to call a “head fake.” There are two kinds of head fakes. The first is literal. On a football field, a player will move his head one way so you’ll think he’s going in that direction. Then he goes the opposite way. It’s like a magician using misdirection. Coach Graham used to tell us to watch a player’s waist. “Where his belly button goes, his body goes,” he’d say. The second kind of fake is the really important one – the one that teaches people things they don’t realize they’re learning until well into the process. If you’re a head-fake specialist, your hidden objective is to get them to learn something you want them to learn. This kind of head-fake learning is absolutely vital. And Coach Graham was the master.”

Perhaps, my mother, as are some of the other people I’m currently dealing with, are of the second-kind of head fake specialists. The absolutely crucial kind.

The eight meaningful quote, “Shatner, was the ultimate example of a man who knew what he didn’t know, was perfectly willing to admit it, and didn’t want to leave until he understood. That’s heroic tome. I wish every grad student had that attitude.” Randy Pausch‘s message, “It’s okay to be humble and even to appear a little ignorant about technical or scientific matters. But it’s never okay to be ignorant about people and how they should be treated.”

The ninth meaningful quote. This quote I’m going to paraphrase, “The coolest guy at the amusement park or carnival, is the guy with the biggest stuffed animal.” Why? Because this means you have talent and skill. Talent and skill equates to one thing; the phallus. Have you ever walked around a carnival with a giant stuffed animal? Have you ever watched how people look at you and envy you? Have you ever used a stuffed animal to woo a woman? Never under-estimating the power of giant stuffed animals is like never under-estimating one‘s talent, abilities or level of intellect. These are the instruments that help woo your lovers and they become vehicles to your success.

Tenth meaningful quote, “The brick walls are there for a reason. They’re not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” Doing eighty hours of homework in order to gather the information you need to either “bring down” or “win over” your opponent is like surmounting a fortress brick wall.

Eleventh meaningful quote, “….there are times, believe it or not, when I’ve come across as arrogant and tactless. That’s when those who can help you recalibrate yourself become absolutely crucial.” It’s shame when people express levels of arrogance, simply because arrogance is one of those things that limits what a person can accomplish in life. There is an old expression, “be a Dutch uncle,” which refers to a person who give you honest feedback. Few people bother doing that nowadays, so the expression has started to feel outdated, even obscure. The best kinds of people you can ever come across, are those who are willing to give you honest feedback.

Twelfth meaningful quote, “People are more important than things. A car, even a pristine gem like a new convertible, is just a thing.” Never put material possessions above the needs of people. Allow your kids to be a little messy and give them the freedom to express themselves. Encourage freedom of expression at all costs. Above all, don’t stifle their libido. Don’t be afraid to give them some paint if they want to express creative artwork on there bedroom walls. As a parent, I totally endorse Randy Pausch’s message.

I’m only half way through the book. So, I’ll probably do a part two posting of additional quotations.


Experiments in Mind, Body, and Behavioral Manipulations


I have posted previously about electro-magnetic frequency implants. I have also stated that I am a victim of violent attacks. The attacks take two forms; physical abuse and sexual abuse from these implants at the hands of an unknown assailant, an individuals who does not see people as humans but as live stock or cattle to be manipulated and exploited.

EMF Implant Drawing.jpgI have drawn a rather crood picture of where these implants are located in my body and I have also drawn up a list of the side-effects I have experienced. Initially, I believe my first initial implant was the implant in my lower lumbar region and I believe this implant simulates a type of spinal cord stimulator. Doctors in the past had tried to pass this implant off as a “fibroid tumor” that was connected to my uterus. The object has become calcified over the years and these calcified deposits are evidence of the length of time it has been in place in my body. I have had to endure the side-effects to this torture for almost two decades. For example, the “tumor“ would start to vibrate at odd hours of the night, mostly around 2:00 am. As a result, I would awake fatigued and tired. Spinal cord stimulators are nothing new, however, it was only just recently that I was made aware of there existence. These stimulators are usually implanted in people with chronic lower back pain and the stimulator comes with a remote control device.

When an electro-magnetic signal locks on to you, it feels like your being physically accosted. Depending on the force of the electro-magnetic wave that is being transmitted, it can actually feel like you are being shoved or pushed around.

The latest implant(s) are the ones located in my skull cavity. I use the plural form, implants, because I am not sure of the number of implants located there. There may be one or more, but definitely at least one. The one implant I am sure of is located in, what I believe to be, either my nasal cavity or inner ear, or both. The nasal cavity implants are called sepal implants, or at least I have been told. There was only scant evidence online that I could gather that indicated these objects actually existed.

Side-Effects of Lower Lumbar Implant:
Pain in lower back and lower spin
Pain down one or both legs
Vibration in the lower abdominal cavity
Stimulation of erogenous zones through electro-magnetic frequency (vagina, clitoris, anal opening to encourage sexual arousal)
Violent attacks – feels like you are being shoved or pushed while standing with no direct physical contact
Spontaneous muscle spasms
Disoriented motion (walking like your intoxicated when no alcohol has been consumed)
Disruption of balance (feels like your being pushed while walking and made to lose your balance or shoved into a chair – again, by no direct physical contact)
Internal organ pain (Liver, Kidney, and Stomach)
Sensations of a focused beam of energy (laser) being directed upward along your spin          (toward the brain region)
Hips were made to pivot and curl in intercourse motion (this occurred while in a semi-conscious awake state during sleep -movement was made with no conscious effort
Sensation the “tumor” is rotating in a 360 degree motion while emitting a focused beam of energy (laser) in pulsed emissions directed at various internal organs ( imagine a machine gun going off in sequential rounds)

Side-Effects of Skull Implants:
Sinus Pressure
Pressure in Ears and Head
Difficulty Concentrating
Difficulty Reading and Comprehending
Stuttering (while reading out loud; I believe the perpetrator could hear me)
Periods of Unconscious Activity (eg: sleep walking)
Head is manipulated made to move right to left, up and down, without conscious effort (this occurred while in a dream like state)
Sensations of Pulsed Energy Emission to the Back of the Skull
Sedative Effects (without the use of drugs or alcohol – feeling doped-up)
Alert Effects (without the use of drugs – feeling awake, alert, and aware)
Sound to Skull (radio wave transmission that carry various sounds to the skull. Sounds like human voice and the soundboard effects from equipment used in a radio station (eg: whistles and bells)
Increased Fantasies (day dreaming and fantasizing like your on an opiate or some other intoxicating drug while not having consumed any alcohol or taken any drugs)

These implants have made my life unbearable and difficult to manage and lead a fulfilling life. I have been sexually abused by them, emotionally abused by them, and physically abused by them. To the perpetrator, these implants must seem like a really cool gift, since, How could you prove abuse when no scars, bruises, or blood stains have been left behind at the crime scene? The only visible scars are the ones left on my psyche and perhaps direct observable behavior, my withdraw from social settings and avoidance of intimate contact with others.

Some Charts I’ve been pouring over recently, and, what’s more, charts that delineate between the various stages and ages of psycho-social development.

Erikson's Stage Theory in its final Version.jpg

Erik Erikson Psychosocial Development Grid.jpg

Silencing Human Libido and Electro-Magnetic Frequency Waves


“It’s a form of kleptomania; taking away from someone that which one feels THEY rightfully deserve. This can take many the form of “silencing” or “stealing,” it can take the form of “silencing” one’s gender identity, it can take the form of “silencing” one’s expression of style of dress as Saudi men attempt to take control of the women in their culture by denying them rights and freedoms, it can take the form of “silencing” someone’s orgasms through female circumcision and male castration as some cultures in Africa still practice. In America today, it is being practiced with electro-magnetic frequency.”

Some people develop abnormal sexuality. Michel Foucault predicted in his book, History of Sexuality, society is moving towards liberating acts of sexuality. This, has for the most part become true. We have seen the declassification of Sadomasochism from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Illness. We have also seen the declassification of homosexuality and transgender identity disorders. The photo depicted above is an image of human sexuality. Some individuals go to great lengths to silence and annihilate it in others, even their offspring. Female circumcision is one of those attempts at “silence” female sexuality. It renders the inflicted female impotent in achieving orgasm through clitoral stimulation, much like male castration.

Another way women have been “silenced” in their sexuality, is by using electro-magnetic frequency to induce weight gain and take “control“ over the female‘s body and behavior. Clinical trials in mind control and the use of electro-magnetic waves have been carried since the Cold War. Since body image, like style of hair and clothing are directly related to culture and how a women perceive themselves, say, if she feels beautiful or if she feels frumpy, this will of course have a direct effect on her libido. Recently, with more and

Transgender Child - Voicing her feelings.jpg
Transgender Child Voicing Her Feelings

more children and parents concerned about liberating their children’s libido, parents have taken active roles in helping their transgender and homosexual children in achieving freedom of expression through active demonstration in gay pride parades. Freedom to choose the love object of their choice without feeling inferior, demeaned, dehumanized, and hated will have long standing health effects for our children’s future and for society in general. Suicide is a high statistical risk when one attempts to “steal,” “snatch,” “silence” and “rip away” the sexual rights of another. Brian washing these children as “bad,” “inferior,” or “defective.” Inducing illness with the use of these waves to inflict harm on a human object lies at the heart of the most sinister beasts. Monsters in defectu; superego lacunae. Actions that oppress and take away an individual’s way of life is nothing more than an example of White Supremacy and Neo-Nazi agendas; self-serving. They force to impose on another, someone else’s way of being and does not seek to liberate the freedom one has in expressing themselves.


I have been tortured and abused by electro-magnetic frequency stimulation and waves. As a result, I have gained weight and because of this I have become partially impotent because I feel ugly. I feel the technologies that have been used against me have caused me great suffering, harm, and torture at the expense of a narcissist’s belief in their right to take control over my body. It’s nothing short of live electrocution.

I was abuse during my work-out activity which made me slowly move away from performing active exercise. Tortured with electro-magnetic pulses to the brain, manipulated, and exploited by medical personal in a power network that existed in a small neighborhood located in Trenton, NJ.


Female Perversions, Live Stock Fetishes, Sadomasochism, and a Serial Hair Cutter (edited with more in-depth psychoanalytic information)

When young children and adolescents are left alone all to themselves in early childhood, it’s not difficult to imagine how perversions like sexualized fetishes can develop. These perversions are usually attributed to what psychoanalysts call “primal scene trauma.” Imagine if you will a rural area, in an under-developed land, where sheep, goats, and cattle are one of the only means for sustenance and income. It’s not difficult to imagine a scenario where a young child turned adolescent, going through puberty, could develop a fetish for live stock. Since live stock will form loving bonds readily with their human owners. Take for instance the following clip:

Now imagine if you will young adolescents experimenting with cattle prods on one another’s bodies. Albeit a perverse scenario indeed, but once again, we can imagine that if the circumstances are right (young children being neglected and left to their own devices) and the required objects/props are available, we can begin to imagine how sadomasochistic themes can develop in the repertoire of human behavior. Young adolescents in Britain and America seem regularly enthused with the outlandish antics of “prodding” one another as uploaded videos pervade the online YouTube community.

One particular theme that I have seen reoccur in behaviors stemming from unconscious wish fulfillment is the cutting of human hair. The cutting of female or male hair by a perpetrator is considered an attempt at castration, degradation, and even possibly dehumanizing them as, something less than human, depending on how the perpetrator views the importance of hair. Hair is, of course, something that forms a person’s overall body image with style and class. The same goes for a person’s body figure, size and shape; fat, slender, round, stout, all combined with style of dress, hair color and hair style make up one’s “image.”  Take for example the following case study involving a man, Mr. R, who was a professional in his late twenties with a sexual fetish for cutting or clipping the hair of his female sex partners.

The Case of Mr. R.
The Triumphant Hair Cutter

Mr. R, a professional man in his late twenties, a husband and the father of a little boy, suffered intensely from his hair fetish. More accurately, it was not the fetish that troubled him but the fact that his wife would no longer participate in the fetishistic scenario that he had invented. Because of his professional duties, which brought him into contact with prominent members of his community, Mr. R was most troubled by his slovenly dress, poor hygiene, and some “disgusting” habits such as picking his nose rubbing it into his clothing or wiping the secreta on walls or furniture. In the course of exploring the sources of those symptoms, Mr. R’s analyst discovered his perversion.

The analysis revealed speculation that the fetish was equated with the phallus, but it may also signify the uterus or the vagina. The analyst encouraged her patient to explore his feminine identifications and the relationship between those identifications and his bloodthirsty, sadistic fantasies which revealed nuances to his feminine wishes and feminine identifications. These feminine wishes and feminine identifications made a special contribution to our knowledge of perversions. This case is one of those special and rare cases where the perversion explicitly calls attention to the man’s envy of the female genital functions and the relationship of that envy to so-called masculine sadism.

The only way Mr. R could attain a satisfactory orgasm was if he was to cut off a lock of his wife’s hair during foreplay or occasionally after he had already penetrated her (intercourse). Mr. R had certain specifications for the way his wife was to comb her hair. She had to wear bangs covering her forehead the equivalent of masculinity and therefore not castrated), while her back hair had to fall into soft waves down to her shoulders (the equivalent of femininity and therefore castrated). Except for his perversion and his slovenly habits, Mr. R gave his wife very little trouble. He was faithful to her and was kind and considerate to her and to his son. She, in return, was more than willing to do what ever she could to make her husband happy. Sometimes, though, while Mr. R was cutting his wife’s hair, he had the disturbing fantasy that he was gouging out pieces of her scalp.

One day, after his analyst would not give in to his request that she approve of his perversion, he reacted to this expression of his analyst’s authority by displacing his fury toward his analyst onto his wife. When he came home that night, he requested that his wife allow him to shave all the hair off her head. When he noted his wife’s hesitancy, he reminded her that she could simply wear an attractive wig for the time her hair was growing in. Her refusal made him so tense that he began to cry. He accused his wife of trying to emasculate him. He was amazed that this scene between him and his wife aroused a fantasy in him that went quite against his image of himself as a considerate husband, a passive and gentle man who was fearful of most people he met. He had an image of seizing her hair. Even in this fantasy, the kind Mr. R managed to save his wife from the full extent of his fury. He imagined her as wriggling free, grabbing his testicles, and trying mightily to pull them off.

After the disturbing rejections of his wife, and his analyst, he waited some time before bringing up any more requests about hair cutting. He then ventured a modified proposal. Perhaps he could shave her head and his. With this modification Mr. R had hoped to do two things. First, he thought it would convince his wife to give her permission. Second, he had figured out that his hair would grow in faster than hers. In that way, he could prove himself to be stronger and better than his wife (and his analyst). Once again, his wife thwarted his plans. She found his mutual shaving plan no more to her liking than his first request.

Mr. R now found himself with no choice but to be content with just clipping his wife’s hair during sexual interplay. Nevertheless, Mr. R could not curb his desire to humiliate his wife and so, clipped her hair closer, and closer to the scalp. Finally, Mrs. R’s hair looked a mess with various clippings at different lengths and uneven spaces through the head. The last straw was when Mr. R began to complain about Mrs. R’s lack of ingenuity in finding appropriate head wear like hats and bandanas to hid his dirty work. Her voice of rebellion was if he insisted on mutilating her, she protested, then he would have to suffer the embarrassment of her appearance.

One night Mrs. R could bear it no longer. She declined absolutely to let Mr. R continue to cut her hair so close to the scalp. Her adamant stance brought Mr. R to a state of unbearable tension. This time, instead of crying or creating a sadistic mutilation fantasy to control his aggression toward his wife, he spent the entire night in the bathroom shaving all the hair off his own body. During the next few weeks after the hair shaving episode, Mr. R had a difficult time obtaining an emission during masturbation. Until his hair grew back, he was impotent during intercourse.

Long Golden Wavy Locks


Here in this particular analysis, hair is the screen that would conceal, yet symbolically reveal, the traumas of childhood. The most vivid and emotionally resonant memories from Mr. R’s childhood were of his mother drying her long golden locks in the sun. To dry them underneath, she would throw her hair over her face. As a toddler, Robert was horrified yet intrigued by the disappearance of her face. What a great relief it was when his mother’s face finally reappeared. Robert himself felt very unloved and unwanted. His parent’s were always lamenting that Robert was the only one in the whole family that did not have “beautiful locks.” It was true. Robert had very straight, unruly, drab-colored hair. His father had wavy hair and also wonderful curly pubic hair that fascinated Robert. Until his analysis, memories of hair and hair cutting had effectively screened out every other item of Robert’s childhood history, including the fact that he had several times witnessed his parents’ sexual intercourse. Robert was a very curious little boy had serious wondered where his little sister came from. These curiosities are normal dilemmas facing young children, wondering about their parents’ activity in the bedroom, and where fellow siblings come from.

Robert had showed a curious interest as a young child in clipping other children’s hair and this interest continued into adolescence when he tried to convince a young adolescent girl he was taking a walk with to let him cut her hair. When she indulged him by letting him clip just one lock, he felt an quixotic erotic enactment. When he solicited a prostitute a few years later, he realized he was impotent unless he could win the approval of her agreement to clip off at least one of their locks. At, first he preferred women with long blond hair.

Robert’s sexualized sadism and sexualized aggression toward his wife stemmed from a feminine unconscious wish fulfillment to possess the long beautiful locks of her feminine identification. This unconscious fantasy was tied closely to his mother’s long beautiful golden hair and his lack of it. Specifically during his early childhood years when he was in direct competition to win over the gratifications of the parents. His lack of long beautiful locks and the disapproval he received from his parents had set in motion an unconscious wish fulfillment to castrate those who possessed long beautiful hair. In a perverse reversal of penis envy, Robert had something psychoanalysts refer to as a form of vagina/uterus envy, in that he wish to procure for himself the rightful ownership to, and title of, the “son who possessed mother’s beautiful golden hair.” This perversion explicitly calls attention to the man’s envy of the female genital function and the relationship of that envy to the so-called masculine sadism; the female‘s golden beautiful long locks and the desire to possess the feminine sexual apparatus. This wish was combined with his masculine sadistic envy of not possessing that which one feels they rightfully deserve. This sadism was enacted in sexualized fantasy as the bloodthirsty clipping and gouging out at the scalp of his wife‘s hair. A form of retributive aggression for his own short comings, and with the realization of this lack gave rise to periods of sexual impotence and sexual dysfunction.

According to his analyst, the cutting of his wife’s hair was an enactment of two unconscious wishes, each with its own built-in reassurance. First, Mr. R could reassure himself about his own fears of castration: “I will cut my wife’s hair. But hair (to contrast to genitals) can always grow back again, proving that castration is reversible.” Second, he could reassure himself that his wife was strong, powerful, and phallic and yet not quite as powerful as he. Mrs. R was a submissive and obedient and as such, he was able to wield his phallic power over her. “I will cut her hair and find the penis. But I can always cut it again and prove myself more powerful than she.” Sometimes keeping track of the balances of power at home and in his analyst’s office was much too confusing. There would be days, sometimes weeks, when Mr. R withdrew from all relations with his wife and contend himself with masturbation. He found that he could alleviate his tension with the fantasy that he could be both sexes at once and did not need any sexual partner at all. He recognized he longed to be a fusion of masculine and feminine. He sometimes dreamed that he had breasts like a woman and a penis like a man. He envied women in their capacity to bear and produce children. Rosemary Balsam in her book, Women’s Bodies in Psychoanalysis, reveals a case study in which a man manifests this same dream, or wish fulfillment, following the birth of his child and his wife’s terminal cancer diagnosis. These fantasies and unconscious wishes tap into men’s bisexual wishes. Although not all men possess the same levels of, if any, sadism.

When Mr. R. was engaged in relations with more dominant, masculine, and aggressive women, his hair fetish seemed to diminish in response to these strong phallic women. With Mr. R’s awareness of his competition with his wife came the conscious realization that he thought of his penis as a destructive weapon that could injure a woman during intercourse.

Hair served the symbolic equivalent of the genitals, hair could allow him to express his castration wishes and fears while simultaneously directing his attention upward to “higher matters” and away from the genitals, which were so close to the “lowly, dirty matters.” With this strategy the dirty matters could be expressed by smearing mucus and wearing smelly clothes, and the higher matters could be expressed by cutting his wife’s hair. When he cut off all of his own hair, it was because he feared he would become a tower of strength and he feared he would use this strength as a dangerous weapon against his wife. He began to see that his wife resembled his mother and wondered whether, when he cut his wife’s hair (castrating her), he was “attempting to take his own mother out of his wife.” On another occasion he mused that perhaps he was trying to cut his pretty wife down into the humiliating childhood image of himself as a “funny-looking” boy.

Mr. R’s hair-cutting scenario allowed him to attack the  part of his wife’s body that symbolized the genitals, but because the attacks took place in the context of a ritualized performance Mr. R was able to protect his wife from outright genital mutilation. At the same time, his perverse scenario successfully regulated the delicate balance between Mr. R’s masculine and feminine strivings. Finally, Mr. R created a primal scene fantasy in which he could identify with both sexes – a mother being castrated by the father and a father whose angry penis is castrating the mother. The once excluded child became the triumphant “hair cutter” who as last had discovered the secret recipe for Great Sex.

It is important to note, psychoanalytically speaking, fantasies serve us in a number of ways and those ways are not always malign. The bloody mutilation fantasies Mr. R would sometimes engage in became a way for him to relieve stress, regulate, and balance his feminine female strivings during times of stressful conflict. Although it took some time for him to learn how to navigate stressful situations, he nonetheless achieved more satisfaction in his personal life and career as a result of psychoanalytic treatment.

From The Criminal & Medical Historical Archives: The First Experimental Electro-Magnetic Stimulation On A Cadaver

It seems through out our human archive, man has experimented on people residing at the lower ends of the socioeconomic ladder. One only has to look to the Roman empire in

Greece Coin - Pedesastry
Greek depiction of Pederasty 500 B.C.

their practices of pedophilia and pederasty to consider what the Roman’s constituted as “property,” and ownership of said property, to realize that barbaric acts have been tolerated in human history for centuries; people on welfare, people in prisons, those who have historically been considered “inferior.” This group includes women, children, and men of low-economic standing (men in prison and the mentally ill). Consider the following example:

On October 4, 1872, John Barclay was hung at the gallows at Ohio’s Columbus Penitentiary. Physicist Thomas Corwin Mendenhall, a teacher at Columbus Central High School, was approved to experiment on Barclay’s corpse by passing electrical energy through the body postmortem.

The Cincinnati Commerical newspaper chronicled the process thusly:

“The First test was on the spine. This caused the eyes to open, the left hand to become elevated, and the fingers to move, as if grasping for something. The hand finally fell, resting on the breast. The battery was then applied to the nerves on the face and neck, which caused the muscles of the face to move as in life. The test was next applied to the phrenic nerve of the left arm, and afterward to the sciatic nerve.”

As The Police Gazette reported:

“In so far as anyone knew, the Judges might have to pass upon the uncanny question of Barclay’s legal status as a living person who had already suffered the death penalty. However, they were spared that embarrassing situation.”

John Barclay was one of the first people to be used in scientific experiments involving electrical stimulus which was applied to the body’s various parts and nerve endings like the spinal cord. This experiment was carried out in the hope of “re-animating” the body with electrical shock. Today we have something called defibrillators. Machines that deliver a certain tolerance of electrical stimulus to the heart muscle in an attempt to “re-animate” the dead body.

Today, scientists are hoping to understand, and control, the brain’s communication between and to the various body parts through implants stimulating muscle tissue and nerve endings with electro-magnetic stimulation.  I wonder, how many scientists and, people in general, have been experimenting on other person’s private bodies, either unknowingly or unwillingly, in the name of science. And how many twisted Nazi experiments have been performed by the U.S. government in the name of National Security, Science, and the Humanities in an attempt to gather more information to advance personal political, social, and economic agendas?

To read more about John Barclay click the link: Crime Feed: The Killer Who Was Executed and Then Reanimated


Primal Scene Trauma, Sexualized Aggression, and The New Age of Silicon

In the new age of silicon, man has harnessed the ability to manipulate many things. One of them is the electro-magnetic field that protect the earth from solar radiation. In his attempt to farther his knowledge and streamline his work, he has created new technologies that are designed to make man’s life easier. They are also used in medicine to help men live longer healthier lives, but there are peculiarities to consider with the advent of such technologies. To establish a connection between the perverse scenario of fetishized behavior and that of mind control; the “throwing” of electro-magnetic signals at a victim to achieve a pleasurable end, either sexually or otherwise, please consider the following case study.

The Case of Mr. O
“Maybe this time it will / won’t happen”

Mr. O was another man whose erotic desires were not sufficiently strong to adequately modulate the murderous elements of his perverse scenario. His enactments, however, had slightly more symbolic restraint than those of Mr. N, who was a two-time sadistic murderer. Mr. O tried, whenever possible, to masturbate on rooftops. With one hand regulating the stimulation of his penis, the other hand would hurl bricks at women in the street below. With merely the comforting thought that one of his bricks might be landing on a woman, Mr. O could achieve erection and orgasm. Whether or not the brick actually hit the woman was a matter of relative indifference to Mr. O. The moment of throwing the brick and wondering if it would or would not land on a woman was the moment that counted. The erotic excitement depended on not knowing the outcome. The risk of perhaps being caught in his criminal act heightened the thrill of Mr. O’s sexual adventures. When a brick did hit the target, Mr. O always waited for evidence of a shock on the part of passersby or the victim before attempting to escape. It was the look of shock on someone’s face that brought down the curtain on that afternoon’s sexual performance. Mr. O was eventually imprisoned. However, he never revealed to himself or anyone else the fantasies and wishes he was enacting through his perverse masturbation ritual.

A sexual pervert with irresistible sadistic impulses needn’t be a violent Jack the Ripper or a relatively mild-mannered man. There exists many variations of men with equally malignant feelings toward females and their bodies. These men find rather ingenious ways to achieve erection, as well as arousal in general, in the course of inflicting damage on a woman’s body, mind, or career.

By definition, a sadistic act always has a touch of the erotic. Sadomasochism and erotic elements are co-mingled with each other due to primal scene trauma in early childhood development. Therefore, all premeditated or scripted murders are always something other than just “simple murder.” In general sadomasochistic scenarios involving any actual mutilation of the self or other are the mental creations of persons who were severely traumatized in infancy by profound insults to their bodily integrity. These individuals possess unconscious fantasies, which affix permanently in the minds of these men, repetition behaviors which give clues to these unconscious wishes, which can be read from crime scene evidence. In some cases that I am familiar with, there was an almost complete absence of the ordinary pleasurable skin contact that brings the surface of an infant’s body to life. And often this early absence of life-giving stimulation was supplemented later by sexual or violently aggressive attacks on the child’s body. In some instances, parental neglect led to accidents and injuries requiring painful and prolonged surgical interventions. These episodes may be prolonged and repeated in the child’s early life, that is to say, not just a one-time occurrence or mishap. Persons so abused never feel securely held together within the boundaries of their own skin. They never feel confident that the containers they call their bodies are strong enough to protect them from “invading” forces – from inside and outside. As adults they will create a perverse enactment to control and regulate what they experience in themselves as leaking-out body substances. In males, these leaky substances – mucus, urine, feces, and even ejaculate – are unconsciously equated with a helpless dependency and a vulnerable femininity. The performance of body mutilations, primitive and horrifying as it is to an observer, is reassuring to the protagonist, who can then feel more secure about his body boundaries, his self-identity, and his masculine narcissism.

The Second Mouth of Orlan

As with all fetish objects and substances, the blood that figures so prominently, blunt and barely disguised perverse scenarios represent both abandonment and reunion, castration and reparation, death and resurrection. One may refer to the art of Orlan and her perverse scenario which is an attempt to draw our attention to and shock us with the public viewings of her bloody plastic surgeries; body manipulations and the phallic cutting open of the body. Again, the surgical knife as extension of phallic power.

As a child grows in to an adult, objects become the extensions of phallic power and dominance. The tools of a builder for example, may establish evidence that the child has transitioned his libido into creative adult drives and creative work projects that are both satisfying to society as well as to the builder. Men who may have not had the re-enforcing gentle love and nurturance of the soft, kind-hearted, warm care giving model, may grow to view expressions of these emotions as “weak” and “inferior.” In fact, various nuances of male patient’s feminine wishes and feminine identifications make special contributions to our knowledge of perverse scenarios.

After reading about Mr. O, the brick throwing male pervert whose sexual arousal depended on achieving a “shock” reaction from a passerby, one can begin to easily make the associations between both, the physical and sexualized arousal of the male perpetrator toward his love object; target female, and the abuse of electro-magnetic frequency waves, signals being cased from a far to manipulate, exploit, control, and dominate one’s love object. Albeit, the blood and gruesome aspect of the blood-lust thirsty pervert may be absent in this type of perverse scenario, but the roots of infantile damaged narcissism are evidenced by the lack of control the perpetrator feels in “conquering” his victim.

To read more about the perverse use of electro-magnetic frequency waves and mind control techniques (controlled behavior), please refer to my previous post Mk-ultra, American Central Intelligence Agency & Mind Control Projects.

Mk-ultra, American Central Intelligence Agency & Mind Control Projects

Operations Paperclip.jpg

“It has been said that ‘Time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.” ~Rose Kennedy

I am a victim of the cruel and unusual torture of electro-magnetic frequency weapons. Growing scientific research indicates that these events and personal experiences of victims are not the by products of the human disease of mental illness (schizophrenia). As more and more people gather the courage to step forward to talk about, and discuss, their experiences, they will come to understand what a perverse reversal the government’s strategy really has become. Manipulating and exploiting humans subjects for military initiatives and scientific exploration, while making the subjects believe they are the one’s who are “mentally ill,” is a perverse scenario in and of itself and can be proven as such through psychoanalytic investigation. Consider the following quoted passages and internet links to consider how peculiar, bizarre, and degrading these phenomenons have become to the human race:

“The Central Intelligence Agency’s Fact Book states the NSC (National Security Council) and the CIA were established under the provisions of the National Security Act of 1947, the NSC held its first meeting. James Forrestal, the Secretary of Defense, pushed for the CIA to begin a “secret war” against the Soviets. Forrestal’s initiative led to the execution of psychological warfare operations (psy-ops) in Europe. CIA personnel were not opposed to working with Nazi doctors who had proven to be proficient in braking the mind and rebuilding it. It was decided that the communist threat was an issue that took priority over constitutional rights.

One of the areas to be investigated by the CIA was Mind Control. The CIA’s human behavior control program was chiefly motivated by perceived Soviet, Chinese, and North Korean use of mind control techniques. Under the protection of “national security,” many other branches of the government also took part in the study of this area. The CIA originated its first program in 1950 under the name BLUEBIRD, which in 1951, after Canada and Britain had been included, was changed to ARTICHOKE. MKULTRA officially began in 1953. Technically it was closed in 1964, but some of its programs remained active under MKSEARCH well into the seventies. In 1973, tipped off about forthcoming investigations, CIA Director Richard Helms ordered the destruction of any MKULTRA records. (MC 10, 17)

There is an overwhelming body of evidence that confirms the existence of MKULTRA. More than 250 people who clam they were the victims of “brainwashing” by America’s Central Intelligence Agency were set to win a multi-million dollar legal battle for compensation. Nine already had each received $67,000 (£33,500) compensation from the spy agency, which had admitted to setting up an operation codenamed MK-Ultra during the Cold War. [Mike Parker, CIA’s Bourne Identity Plot (Mkultra), Express.co.uk, July 8, 2007]”     

To read more click on the link Mind Control Using Electro-Magnetic Frequency

“The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, created by the United Nations in 1948, signed and ratified by the US Congress, specifies in its preamble that “recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world.”

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights has been a guide for international law for most of [seven] decades, and as such binds the United States to its general principles. Article 10 states that “everyone is entitled to full equality, to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him,” and Article 5 specifically prohibits torture or cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment. Both of these basic human rights have been superseded by the passage of the Military Commissions Act of 2006.”

To read further click on the link U.S. Electro Magnetic Weapons and Human Rights

Experimental military projects are usually carried out by some of the brightest minds in the U.S., and the world. They are sometimes funded by the governments and awarded grants to further their investigative study in the realms of science in academic environments (MIT, Princeton University, etc.)

Questions The American People Should Be Asking

What type of strategic plans and security measures are currently in place to prevent these types of technologies from being stolen. How secure are these advanced technologies? Who has access to them and how are the keys that keep them secure kept protected? How are the American people at large protected from abuses as a result of these technologies?