By Karen Barna
“The fantasy of object love comes to compensate for narcissistic loss. But oedipal love is both a resolution and a perpetuation of mourning. One cannot yet embody the ideal of femininity or masculinity that mother and father represent, and one cannot yet “possess” the other body in love: one can neither be nor have.”
The infant’s early encounters with the care giving mother is not yet a fully formed recognition of difference. The infant sees the mother as on extension of the self and so this early form of love is really egocentric homoerotic. Remember Narcissus from Greek myth? Therefore, homoerotic love can be cemented in the infant’s narcissism if resolutions steaming from the oedipal loss is not given an avenue to be felt, introjected, and carried. Identifying with the mother and the manifestation of homoerotic love that carries over to adulthood, has to weather many other developmental encounters. Thus, gender identity may not remain fixed, and in fact, my be a rather dynamic and evolving thing. One of the developmental encounters it has to weather is the onset of puberty in adolescence.
One can then assume that a form of “splitting” did not occur in cases of bisexual gender identity. If this is true, bisexuality maybe one of the most normal forms of gender identity. Having the capacity to identify and, at the same time, retain both organs in the psyche creates, in my opinion, balance. During states of high aggression, stress, and indifference a person who may enjoy homosexual experiences as well as heterosexual experiences may encounter increased homosexual fantasy either in dreams or sex play (imaginative). This is a benign form of expressing one’s omnipotence over other.
At this point in the discussion, it is crucial to note that psychological development occurs when an individual has the capacity to create for themselves a life, in which their needs and wants can be declared, negotiated, navigated, and secured, and that there exists empathy for others in their actions that do not inflict pain and suffering onto the world outside.
However, in some bisexual cases it appears as if splitting may have occurred. Because the infant still has cemented, as part of her/his gendered identity, an element of bisexuality that manifests itself in actual sex play or fantasized sex play, the symbolic representation as a pejorative element, is a symbolic that is carried out on the ‘self’ may come to represent omnipotent destruction of the self and can be seen in cases of addiction; alcoholic dependency, drug addiction, sex addiction, masturbation, cutting, anorexia or other forms of sadomasochistic expressions of destruction on the ‘self.’ In short, a wish to self harm. Masturbation can be viewed as a form of omnipotent domination of the self, remembering that sex is a form of violence against ‘other,’ albeit the same sexed self.
If homosexuality or bisexuality is the benign expression of omnipotence over ’other,’ than what follows is that, what could be found in such cases, could be a perjorative form of omnipotence carried out on the ‘self.’ The internal statement, which acts out in symbolic expression, goes like this: I want to hurt myself because you don’t love me.
The issues can become clouded and compounded when there is an infantile narcissistic personality in the person‘s environmental constellation, another ‘other,’ who wants to help assist this “bisexual” to his or her ultimate destruction. In my opinion, these actions fall equivalent to a type of infantocide wish of killing baby. I can say this because any wish to kill the same sexed ‘other’ as a form of pathology, it is rooted in the homo egocentric identification of early narcissism when the symbiosis of mother and the self was forming narcissistic identifications and was viewed as the extension of the self. Elements of this ‘stranded’ psychic development can be seen in pejorative homophobic actions. My accusation is that the uses of electro-magnetic frequency stimulation in medicine may be used as a method in experimenting with an individual’s psychic resilience. By posing the question, When pushed to the edge, what will he/she do? This should neither be legal or ethical. But, I have experienced electro-magnetic frequency torture which has manifested itself as aggression, producing an equivalent form of aggression or wish for omnipotence in my personal fantasies of domination over my same sex gender; women. Remember, “Violence is sex.” Homosexual fantasy, although benign, is a form of violence, and to clarify, sex is a form of violence because the element of domination over another, is a symbolic act ‘to conquer.’
These writings of mine are a way of me coming to terms with my own psychic course of narcissism, anatomy as destiny, and wrestling with THAT very destiny. It isn’t enough to point blame at the other and call foul, despite the fact that we may have had no conscious actions or wish to create this destiny. As painful as the reality of it all may be. We must shoulder the blame and take action for ourselves in correcting whatever “fall-out” remains. This is a quality of leadership, the courage and the capacity to accept the responsibility for an action or actions we had nothing to do with. To take the responsibility on ourselves to make the necessary changes.
It’s interesting to note that while most individuals enjoy a triad of: mother, father, self, I had a quad. I have a fraternal twin sibling of the same sex gender. Whatever the implications maybe psychanalyticially, it’s an interesting point to note.